Dead hands.

WARNING: This is going to be a personal vent of a journal entry. I don't recommend reading further if you have issue with people talking about ~*~FEELINGS~*~.


Still here? Okay. Here it goes.
I haven't done more than a scribble here or a doodle there in several months.  The commission I was working on has gone stagnant (communication has fallen through, not sure what happened other than maybe the commissioner finally got fed up with me).

I don't feel like I have anything to offer any more and it's sort of devastating.  Every time I pick up my stylus I just sort of scratch away and nothing interesting comes out, I have no ideas for artwork. Everything I try is just a repeat of something I've done before. My creative energy is just gone and I'm not sure how to get it back, if I even can.

I mean, I was never the most creative of artists. I didn't come up with anything special, I mostly just drew characters from video games. I rarely ever even told a story with my pictures, they're just portraits. Re-renderings in 2d.

People have offered advice, and I know comparing myself to other artists probably isn't going to help anything (including my ambition) but seriously - maybe I'm not meant to, or don't have The Stuff required to be an Artist. I see other people put out artwork constantly or at least on a consistent basis and I just don't know where they find the energy, time and drive to do it. Hell, even before I got a job I wasn't drawing as much as I used to when I was younger.

Maybe there's just no more art left in me.